Titanic recalculation

"Recalculating" is what many brands of consumer-grade GPS devices say when the user doesn't follow its directions... or when it gets lost and needs to re-compute the route.  Dan Piraro's Bizarro here re-imagines an implementation of that technology.

Frankly I like trying to out-smart my Garmin GPS unit's directions.  The bridge I travel across regularly empties on to a busy road which is certainly the shortest route home, but because of congestion and numerous traffic signals, isn't the fastest way home. If I've got the GPS unit on it expresses its disapproval of my rebellion by passively but aggressively announcing that it's "Recalculating" the route.